NaNoWriMo

sup,

today i thought i'd write a bbit about NaNoWriMo today as it's topical and di am participating. so let's launch straight into it and see what comes out.

so the idea (if you don't already know) is to write a 50 000 word novel in one month (november). at the start my brain was saying "that's just some words, no big deal, we can do that." and because i'm so trusting i was like "alright brain, i trust your judgement, let's do this thing, i love to write". then i realised i had to write 50 000 WORDS! also i haven't got a plot or any ideas and i haven't started.

so i'm already a week behind, i have no real ideas and i just realised what a massive task i have committed myself to. just to add to all of this, i have a ton of homework and assignments and exams start soon.

therefore, i'm fucked.

i'm doing it anyway though. i find i am forever the optimist and i can still see myself managing with a lot of hard work, which i don't put in very often.

my idea barriers is a massive problem. what i do is, i come up with an idea, my brain goes "yay! idea!" and i start to write. then i go to bed, i sleep and i get up the next morning. then the idea looks old and boring and completely unwriteable so i scrap it and try to think of new one. then the pattern repeats. i rarely sit down and write for long enough to establish an idea as good.

so idea barriers as well.

i think another problem is that i put pressure on myself for this. i know that my draft can be crap but i really want it to be an amazing meaningful moving novel. i don't think i've experienced enough to do that. i'm not a master writer and i know that but i REALLY want to be. in this blog i just write what i think of first and that's why i can write hundreds of words effortlessly and ramble.

yeah.... i'm fucked.

but i'll live.

if you have any ideas for me let me know.

enough on NaNoWriMo for now.

just as a little side note, i love my friends a lot and they make me happy and i want them to be happy. last night i wrote a whole blog post in my head about friends and such but now i'm feeling much less pasionate about it and don't think it diserves its own full post so i'm going to write it here (sorry about the massive postage).

what i really dislike is when people are upset. i hate it. maybe i just find it uncomfortable for me but i would like to believe that i care for other people enough to find it unpleasant when they're sad.

i really hate it when people won't tell me what's wrong. i want to help them. i want to make people happy and better and smile. if they don't tell me i can't help. i try anyway, of coarse i do, i'm a trying-y person but it's a lot harder.

i can't see why they won't just tell me. it makes me sad and obviously that is something i do not enjoy. cry cry sad sad stop. also, this is directed at anyone in paricular so nobody get offended, it's directed at lots of people.

anyway, i love you all <3<3<3<3

byebye

Steph

Should be More Stressed but i'm Extremely Chilled Out

have i told you how much i like the word counterproductive? well i love it with my heart. thought you might like to know.

sorry i've been gone so long (has it been long? i don't know). tonight seems to be the night everyone is writing blogs so i thought i'd jump on the bandwagon because bandwagon jumping is something i do frequently and well. yay!

this post will probably contain a lot of random pieces of random because i have so much to say but at the same time so little. it's what happens when i'm stressed, i get even more unpredictable and spastic... sorry

this afternoon i've been doing my multi-media homework which i'm actually really proud of. i like my creative work when i put work into it, i'm actually pretty good at it. so that's a YAY.

after school while still on the premisis this arvo we got balloons. it made me exceedingly happy because i am child like and absolutly adore balloons. they're lovely and they're in my room.

i have two classics assignments to do in the next couple of weeks which is a little unsettling because i'm supposed to be starting NaNoWriMo soon and i need to have at least a little bit of spare time for it. i haven't even starting my novel planning so it could be interesting...

we have wednesday off school this week because it's bendigo cup day which makes me very happy. although i'd love to spend the day doing actual fun things i will probably have to spend it doing lots of work for school to avoid death by teacher mob bashing. :(

i've been listening to lovely music all night and although i'm stressed overall right now i'm really quite chilled out and happy.

i think that'll do us for now, i hope it wasn't too unpleasent for you to read.

Byebye, Steph

Having a Slight Attack...

jaksdhflwioshg;lajrfhgljkfsjnfkjsndg...

i'm having a slight attack at the moment. it's because of my withdrawal. i was trying to do my maths homework but i had to stop and do this so i wouldn't have to think about it too much, just to get it out.

now that you al think i do drugs i'm going to give an explaination. i am addictced to writing. it's really good for getting feelings and thoughts across and when you write you can make up your own world and people won't think you're retarded or mentally ill because fiction writing is a real career and people love to read.. to escape.

the reason i had a writing attack of sorts is because i'm reading a really good book and it made me want to write. lots of things do that to me, if i hear a song i really like i want to make music, if i see a painting i want to paint, but with writing it's stronger. the thing about writing is that you don't need any expertise to do it. your writing may not be as good if you're under practiced but it will still make sense if you use words that people around you understand and story telling isn't a hard skill to pick up.

anyway i wanted to write down about how i needed to write because letting it out (and also the writing part) makes me stop having a spaz and go back to being (moderately) normal... or as normal as i can get.

i'm doing NaNoWriMo. for anyone who doesn't know what that is i can't be bothered to explain but if you do know then good for you, i'm doing it. should be fun.. all i need is an idea now. we'll get there.

so yay for writing, yay for spaz attacks and yay for fooling you into thinking i was addicted to something unhealthy (i mantain that writing is healthy... maybe not for your body but it's good for your mind).

hopefully one day i can write full proper novels and make other people go writing spaz.
Ok i'm good now, cya

Steph

ENFJ... (that's me)

blah... yeah that's you're greeting today, i'm sick give me a break,

welcome back to reading stuff.. that didn't make much sense, my mind doesn't work well when i'm ill. anyway, what i meant was, i have interent back now so you'll be able to read stuff here again. or for the first time if you havn't read it before

anyway enough prefix let's get to the guts of my post.

if you look at the title you'll see a bunch of letters, they may at first appear to be just a random bunch of capitolised squiggles, they may even at second glance seem the same but with my explaination (which will follow) you will soon see them as something that makes sense. more sense than me at the moment anyway.

ENFJ is my personality type, it's from a psychological quiz, i'm not sure what it's called. it's cool because it says stuff about the personality types that relate to me very well. for example;

"ENFJs learn best in structured situations in which they are able to talk bout the lesson and interact with their peers. Because they want their teachers to be pleased with them, they attempt to be model students. They are willing to do what is required in order to become personally recognized by their teachers. Because they take criticism personally, they can either be wounded by it or be willing to redouble their efforts in order to change the criticism. ENFJs enjoy classes that have subject matter relating to people, their needs, their aspirations, and their characterizations. Many ENFJs choose the liberal arts because it gives them an opportunity to more fully explore humanity."

...it's kinda very true about me. don't get me wrong some of it is completely not me but the majority is accurite or close to. as i read it all i realised things about myself because i was comparing what the webpage said to how i think and act. one of the main things it said about my personality type is that i have AMAZING interpersonal skills. like seriously, i am the super person talker to-er and i can make ANYONE like me. then my brain said to me (here it goes again... talking) "you do make friends easily and people usually like you"
and i said back to it "but... that makes me sound a bit full of myself"
then my brain replied "i'm your brain, i don't care, also it's just the truth. you do make friends easily, and understand people"
"cool" i said "it is true isn't it. i like it"

so that was a lovely thing to realise.

here's an extra for you (it's the reason i wanted to write this but it wasn't enough for a whole post) quote from a webpage (take note of the bold words):

"When commitments are broken, ENFJs become upset because they see the breakup as a personal reflection on them and because they have idealized the relationship."

also

"ENFJ's are especially vulnerable to idealizing interpersonal relationships"

does this remind you of anything? no? well it reminds me of that post i wrote about how i idolised my friends... very similar don't you think? bit creepy.

i've been discribed as "the teacher" "the giver" (haha) and "the sage" so far... they're not as cool as alex's mastermind (i told you she was cool) but i like it, it makes me feel like i help people, which i like to do (not only in text either). so i'm smiling, i do that a lot, possitivity rules you know.

that's all, hope you could understand this because i don't think it particularly coherent. sorry. byebye

Steph

p.s. my back really hurts today, everyone who reads this should say "awwwww" in comments

A Brief Update (and some other stuff probably... BUSY)

i greet thee,

i would really like to put some more of my story here for you to read now.... but, i have a problem. there are bits in what i've written that are highlighted, they are the parts that need to be edited. i cannot copy and paste any more of the story without editing it and frankly, i don't have the time right now.

i have school and homework and moving to do so i apologize for that.

next item, i think i may use this for telling people about things that happen in my life as well as things that happen in my head because i have considerabley less articulate thoughts than i previously ... thought.

alright, this is a short entry because i need to go to bed soon and still have maths homework and reading to do... busy busy BUSY!

ohhhh by the way we're moving tomorrow now, not today, it got postponed. i'm a bit worried. we'll see how it goes.

i can't put the new little thing here now because we're already back at school, i've told you when we're moving and i'm not listening to any music... sorry

ttfn (ta ta for now, i was saying that in a sarcastic way, i'm not an acronim type person, except cool ones like dftba)

My Book! (contains brother tricking and computers)... p.s. braces

hey guyss,

tomorrow i go back to school so i'll probably post on here much less often (which will probably be a blessing for you) so i thought today i'd give you some wonderfully amazing stuff to tide you over.

this is the start of a novel i wrote half of last year. it's not edited properly or anything so i'm sorry for any mistakes i might have made and i haven't looked at it for a while so it might have weird style changes and nonsensical bits, again, i apologize.

here we go then... at the moment it's called 10 reasons you should read this book and each chapter is one reason.. i like it, do you?

Reason #1: because it’s incredibly funny and you should always laugh at least once a day!

‘Gabby Green.’ Mum screamed at me down the hallway. We were supposed to be going to Melbourne that day, Saturday to be precise, but why waste your weekend with all that driving? I didn’t understand my parents sometimes.
‘I’m coming mum’ I went running to her. Her face was disappointed and a little suspicious. I tried to think what I’d done...nope nothing came to mind (not that it meant I didn’t do anything).
‘The cars broken down, sweetie. We won’t be able to go to Melbourne, maybe next week?’
‘Ah, yea mum, maybe.’ That’s what came out my mouth. Here’s what you would have heard in my head: ‘yahoo Yay, party!’ and then a conga line of my brain cells started and there were chips and soft drink and... Well enough living in fantasy land.
Now I had time free to, um, to...... well not go to Melbourne. It took me 2 minutes of seriously strenuous thinking to come up with playing computer games. Just one problem: Jared. My older brother Jared (who’s 16 now) is always online! The only way to get onto the computer was to be sneaky and deceitful (which is ok with brothers).
‘Hey Jared, I found chocolate!’ that did it he was out of the swivel chair and into the kitchen like lightning. Now the race was on. I had to beat him to the computer. The atmosphere was tense, Jared realised he’d been tricked. You know how in those western movies the guys look at each other and make faces just before they try to kill each other. We did that. And then... I moved, and it was on! Jared was quick out of his gate too. It was close, too close. I’ll have to make a dive I thought, so I leapt, ever so gracefully, into the air, using Jared as a spring and landed flat on my belly on the computer chair. Jared knew he had lost but I felt like rubbing it in so I said ‘ha ha you lost!’
You should have seen the look he gave me then. I know it sounds cliché but seriously if looks could kill I would be dead and you would be very lucky this is a book not a movie! He was going to get me back for it but I had plenty of time later to worry about that, now the computer.

so hopefully you enjoyed that. i might be back soon (probably since this is really good way of procrastination). yeah....

news of the day: my braces were taken off! yay!
days til school goes back: .5
days til we move: 1.5
music in my ears now: one week-bare naked ladies
cya

Steph

p.s. i would like to know your thoughts about my writing and stuff.. please? i like feedback :)

p.p.s. retainers are annoying

Stuff ( with new features!)

G'day,

today i'm here to talk to you about events in my life, which isn't a common occurence here but for today i think we'll let that slide.

we're moving house in a few days, it's not to a totally new location, just a new part of the same area, into a rental. as you could expect in this situation, we've been packing lots.

my room has just been packed up, literally in the last 3 hours. it's very empty and it feels weird to go into a room that no longer looks like i live in it. i have a very crowded way of living, i'm constantly complaining that i need more space but the reality is, if i had more space i would find a way of filling it because i like to have my things near me.

the exact opposite of that is the days before you move. all my toys and books and decorations are boxed up and i don't have any chargers, so my phone might die, same with my ipod and my nintendo ds. this would be tragic, yes.

i find it strange though, how you can live without things you used to think you needed. last week our computer was brocken so we didn't have it for a while. i would've always said i couldn't live without the computer but when i didn't have it i found that it wasn't quite as bad as i'd expected. i did have a little bit of interent on my phone but severly less than i would normally have.

on a completely different note, we will be able to get our stuff out of storage soon! we're actually moving to a bigger house (not a lot bigger though) so we get some of our stuff back. i'm especially excited about getting out the saxophone, keyboard and violin. i've recently become more interested in music and particularly in learning to play something. i have all theses instruments but nobody in our house actually knows how to play them properly. i have a friend lined up to teach me saxaphone and i'm hoping that i'll be able to teach the other to myself. YAY!

overall feeling: happy
days 'til school goes back: 1.5
days 'til we move: 2.5
song in my ears: blink-chameleon circut

ok byebye now

Steph

p.s. i really like the little thing up there ^ what do you think of it?

p.p.s. i keep forgetting to ask questions, i've given you one today :) please make me happy and answer it (and comment on anything you like or dislike in this post)