sup,
today i thought i'd write a bbit about NaNoWriMo today as it's topical and di am participating. so let's launch straight into it and see what comes out.
so the idea (if you don't already know) is to write a 50 000 word novel in one month (november). at the start my brain was saying "that's just some words, no big deal, we can do that." and because i'm so trusting i was like "alright brain, i trust your judgement, let's do this thing, i love to write". then i realised i had to write 50 000 WORDS! also i haven't got a plot or any ideas and i haven't started.
so i'm already a week behind, i have no real ideas and i just realised what a massive task i have committed myself to. just to add to all of this, i have a ton of homework and assignments and exams start soon.
therefore, i'm fucked.
i'm doing it anyway though. i find i am forever the optimist and i can still see myself managing with a lot of hard work, which i don't put in very often.
my idea barriers is a massive problem. what i do is, i come up with an idea, my brain goes "yay! idea!" and i start to write. then i go to bed, i sleep and i get up the next morning. then the idea looks old and boring and completely unwriteable so i scrap it and try to think of new one. then the pattern repeats. i rarely sit down and write for long enough to establish an idea as good.
so idea barriers as well.
i think another problem is that i put pressure on myself for this. i know that my draft can be crap but i really want it to be an amazing meaningful moving novel. i don't think i've experienced enough to do that. i'm not a master writer and i know that but i REALLY want to be. in this blog i just write what i think of first and that's why i can write hundreds of words effortlessly and ramble.
yeah.... i'm fucked.
but i'll live.
if you have any ideas for me let me know.
enough on NaNoWriMo for now.
just as a little side note, i love my friends a lot and they make me happy and i want them to be happy. last night i wrote a whole blog post in my head about friends and such but now i'm feeling much less pasionate about it and don't think it diserves its own full post so i'm going to write it here (sorry about the massive postage).
what i really dislike is when people are upset. i hate it. maybe i just find it uncomfortable for me but i would like to believe that i care for other people enough to find it unpleasant when they're sad.
i really hate it when people won't tell me what's wrong. i want to help them. i want to make people happy and better and smile. if they don't tell me i can't help. i try anyway, of coarse i do, i'm a trying-y person but it's a lot harder.
i can't see why they won't just tell me. it makes me sad and obviously that is something i do not enjoy. cry cry sad sad stop. also, this is directed at anyone in paricular so nobody get offended, it's directed at lots of people.
anyway, i love you all <3<3<3<3
byebye
Steph
