Church, Religion, WHAT?

heyy,

so last night i went to church for my cousins graduation. like, real church, with responses and kneeling and eating weird bread. i used to go to church-y things like that all the time when i was in primary school (it was a cathlic school) i even went up the front and read readings and got responses.

see i'm technically christian, i've been confirmed. i've had my first eucherist (if that's how you spell it) and all that stuff but it'd been so long that i'd forgotten it all. i knew you had to do the sign of the cross at some point at the start and then at the end* but i didn't know exactly when, i knew you had to say something after you got the weird bread stuff, but i didn't know what. i ended up just feeling really awkward.

i don't even know what i believe, which made it worse because most of the responses include saying amen which means "i believe". i'd also forgotten how... preechy church can be. i'm used to when i hear things from the bible at school they're translated to give messages that can actually apply but in church thay were just saying god is great let's all give him praise for some reason.

it just seemed weird to me, and weird how much i'd forgotten, and weird hoe much i remembered and just weird that i was there.

that's all.

you can let me know your thoughts if you like.

* when i was younger we had to say prayers everyday at school and i thought doing the sign of the cross started the prayer and doing it again stopped it and if you didn't stop the prayer everything you said, did or thought went straight to god. i was a bit paranoid about it.