Why Can't We All Just Chill Out And Give Us Some More Freedom?

greetings,

i have a problem. it's a brain problem. i could probably get over it really easily but i would prefer if it just went away. here's the backstory: i really like to do things. i spend pretty much all my time doing something, when i say doing something i mean reaching something or making something or writing something.

my problem is i can't do things when i need to. if i'm told i need to write an essay by i certain date my brain goes "i don't like deadlines. I DON'T LIKE DEADLINES! we can't do this!" and i agree with my brain because it is the boss. i try, of course i do, i like getting things in on time and not getting in trouble, but i always have a struggle.

the holidays are my worst avoiding time, i get lots of time off so there's no hurry and i don't do my work, then it gets to the last few days, which i have left free so i could do my work, and i sit down and..... i open twitter and facebook and youtube and a game. i am the ruler of procrastination. i can always find something more important than that essay i have to write or the maths exersizes that are due. i really wish i didn't do this and a week later my brain always says "oh we should've just done it when we got it, it would be over by now if we did" but then next time i put myself in the exact same position.

i'm having this issue now, there are two days of holidays left and i have three things to get done. none of them have been started. i'm a little bit nervious about not being able to get them done or not doing them well enough because i hate to get in trouble but the laziness and avoid-reflex (that i seem to have) heavily outweigh it.

obviously i don't have trouble writing things (i just wrote all of this) and from the reading list i built up over the last couple of weeks you can see i don't have trouble readin things either, my only issue is when it's compulsary or there is a deadline.

what i've realised over the last few years is that i'm enjoying my learning way more but i'm getting tired of going to school. the pressure of exams and results are making learning stressful and un-enjoyable. i love to go to my classes and listen to what my teachers say because i think they're smart people with interesting things to say, but i don't like having to take everything they say down in notes, i don't like to do endless repeditive exersizes and i don't like working all day at school only to come home and work for hours more just to keep up.

our society has become so advanced that we now have to go to school for 13 years to survive in the world. we don't get any time to rest or play. we don't have enough freedom in our learning. we get tested and analysed. it's not how i would like the world to be.

so, yeah. i have issues with the world. not that many, don't get me wrong, i'm really happy and stuff, but there're a few things i would change if i could. this is one of them.

i'm going to try and write that essay now. i'll see if it's any easier now that i've complained a bit. hopefully i can just get through it and do my best. BYE

Steph